


A Dragon's Soul

by wisepuma23



Series: Merlin, Son of Wilderness [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: BAMF Merlin, Dragon!Merlin, Dragonlord!Merlin, Epic Bromance, Gen, Hurt Merlin, Magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2015-11-12
Packaged: 2018-04-30 08:25:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5156906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wisepuma23/pseuds/wisepuma23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin learns that there are more to being a dragon-lord and it's powers other than commanding dragons. However, Merlin being Merlin, he gets a little <i>extra</i> than usual dragon-lords.</p><p>And also learns another of his apparently too many to count names in legend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. If You Have A Lump For More Than 2 Hours, Please Consult Your Physician Immediately

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin finally learns that lumps in chests are not normal (shocking!) and they usually have dire consequences when they finally hatch with absolute no warning or preparation.

The first time he felt the lump, small as a pebble resting in his chest, was when his father died. It was solid as stone, and Merlin believed it was just sorrow, that his heart hurt so much that he felt it. He quickly forgot about it, accepting the lump in his chest as another mental scar that he bore over the years. If the lump grew in size and weight over the course of almost two years, he shrugged, he had plenty of things to be sad about, or could’ve been the weight of his regrets, forever reminding him of it’s existence.

He was walking along next to Lancelot carrying the prat’s laundry when he finally felt the lump _move_ , startling him so much that he tripped on thin air and spill linens everywhere.

"Merlin! Are you alright?” Lancelot said with concern, helping him gather his wayward sheets as Merlin tried to recover from the sudden fall.

“Lancelot, you shouldn’t be doing that, I’m the servant and you’re the knight.” Merlin admonished him as he gathered the sheets into a messy ball in his arms, not bothering to refold them.

“You know my answer to that, Merlin.” Lancelot grinned as he helped his friend stand up, and Merlin’s mouth pulled upwards until it hurt. He gave an unbelieving huff, as the last of the sheets were gathered. His magic automatically smoothed down Lancelot’s hair in a small gesture of gratitude.

“Merlin, if you keep doing that, people are gonna be jealous of my perfect hair.” Lancelot said teasingly.

“By people, you mean Gwaine?” Merlin laughed lightly.

“Wait a minute, Merlin are you doing the same to---”

“No, gods no. I wish it was, but Gwaine’s hair is _naturally_ like that. If I didn’t know better, I would suspect him of it.” Merlin said as both of them rolled their eyes in unison, Gwaine’s windswept hair would forever be a mystery.

The lump moved again, pain sparking from the area, Merlin careened into the wall and his knees failed beneath him. He gave a small involuntary cry of pain as the lump lurched in his chest, stars danced in his eyes as the lump clenched and started thrashing violently. He felt strong arms circle him around the shoulder and under his knees as his grip on the sheets loosened. He whimpered into the strong chest as he weakly tore at the spot where the lump resided under his skin with now free hands. The lump thrashed and scratched it’s walls with razor sharp claws, wait, _claws_? The lump stilled, Merlin sighed in relief, but felt feather light touches at the walls surrounding the lump’s prison.

He screamed as the claws dug deeply and shredded it all, wounds inside quickly gushing blood and he could hear his agonized scream turn to a deafening **_Roar_**. Merlin’s body could take no more, and promptly passed out in Lancelot's panicked arms. 

+++

“Merlin? Merlin wake up!” Lancelot’s voice called him, and Merlin groaned as his eyes fluttered open. He winced at once from the harsh light from the candle next to him, as Gaius probed fingers at his face to check for longer lasting injuries. Merlin noticed with not much thought that his shirt was neatly folded by him, chest bare to the world.

“What happened, my boy?” Gaius asked as Merlin sat up and swung his legs off of his cot. Merlin squinted as he tried to rewind what happened hours before, and without thinking he rubbed into his chest as if something ached.

“You’re doing it again!” Lancelot pointed and Merlin startled and looked down at his tense hands with surprise. Suddenly it all came back to him in a rush, and he gave a whimper as he remembered the sheer amount of _pain_ of when the _thing_ dug into him.

“G-get it out! I want it out! OUT!” Merlin cried as he tried to tear into his skin with his blunt fingernails, a small amount of satisfaction blossomed with each cut and scratch, completely ignoring the bleeding and pain. He just wanted it _gone_.

He actually snarled when firm hands clamped on his wrists and pulled them away, and started thrashing around. The _thing_ rumbled and seemed to wake up from its slumber, Merlin’s body struggled harder against the strong grips on his hands and chest. He had, _he had to_ carve out this beast from him now. Before the pain came back.

“It’s waking up! No no no no no.” Merlin growled as he started kicking his bare feet around, feeling a little vindictive at his captors, and felt a little better when he heard groans of pain. The beast slithered in his chest, growing more excited the more Merlin struggled, and the warlock could feel that the lump was no longer a lump. It had sharpened its features as he slept, it had a snout, scales, horns, _teeth and claws_ , and wings. He didn’t care what it was, it brought only pain and it felt so invasive that such a creature lived in him without him knowing for so long.

“What’s waking up? Merlin be quiet, you don’t want to wake up half the castle!” Lancelot said harshly as he used all of his strength into redirecting Merlin’s violent beatings into him instead of Gaius’ fraile body.

“The lump! There’s a thing in my chest!!” Merlin yelled but got muffled by the stuffing of a rag by Gaius. He bit into it, going limp with a broken whimper as all of struggles had failed and the thing had started digging it’s razor sharp talons into it’s prison. He screamed through the rag, body automatically locking up in pain. He could feel the beast pausing for a moment before it started using its newly formed mouth full of razor sharp teeth wildly. No other option available, he pushed a desperate tendril of mind-speak toward the thing.

_Please, whatever you are, **please** stop._

The beast stilled in surprise, and stopped tearing his insides to shreds. It seemed curious and nudged the tendril back in acknowledgement. Merlin went limp in relief, the rag falling out of his mouth as his eyes fluttered back open, the clouded look of pain fading away like a bad memory.

“Merlin, you okay?” Lancelot asked as he panted and started pulling his grip away tentatively but Merlin stopped him with a silent plea to ground him in the here and now. His friend relented and wrapped him in a comforting hug instead of the tight hold of panic for his friend from before. Merlin sighed as he got his breaths back to a normal pace, and started smacking lips suddenly noticed how dry they were. Gaius quickly gave him a cup of cold water and Merlin hummed in gratitude as he drank.

“I…...I told it to stop, and it did. It’s like a small beast grew right here,” Merlin croaked as he patted the spot of where the thing resided only inches beneath his skin, he shivered as it breathed softly, “and I didn’t even notice it for almost two years. How can I miss a detail like that? I _should’ve_ known.”

“Merlin, when did you first feel it? Perhaps we can pin down the event that caused it, and we’ll find a way to safely kill it without cutting a hole in you.” Gaius asked as he patted his ward’s forehead with a wet cloth, hoping that whatever ailed Merlin this time wouldn’t prove to be fatal.

“When…..Balinor died, I thought it was just grief. It was small as a pebble back then,” Merlin squinted, “and I think it grew every time I was sad or had another regret. I was stupid, I should’ve stopped moping around and realized it was a pool of magic instead of my d- _dumb_ emotions. Now look at what happened.”

“Merlin, you said it was a small beast, how do you know?” Gaius pressed, stamping down the words that would disprove Merlin’s line of thinking that his sorrow had landed him in this mess, he was only human, after all. Now wasn’t the time.

“It was just a lump before, and maybe it was an egg? Because when I woke up, I could just _tell_ it had a snout, horns, wings, claws and teeth (of course) and a slender body.” Merlin paused as he thought of animals that resembled it, “Rather like a dragon actually, very much so.”

Gaius and Merlin exchanged a look between them, one sheepish and the other with frustration at the lack of hindsight. Gaius shook his head and sighed. Lancelot looked between the two, despite knowing Merlin’s major secret, there was many more not shared.

“Well, time for another trip to see Kilgharrah and get a sleepless night (again) due to getting a stupidly cryptic response and having more questions than answers!” Merlin proclaimed with forced cheeriness.

“Kilgharrah? Is he a friend of yours?” Lancelot asked a bit foolishly, and jumped at the simultaneous looks he got from Gaius and Merlin, “Okay, not a friend then.”

“Lancelot, I think it’s time you get to meet him. You know what they say about a pain shared is a pain halved, or rather a headache.” Merlin sighed as he tried to push himself off of the cot, but his sore arms and legs failed beneath him. Lancelot quickly supported him before he completely fell to the floor, and pulled Merlin onto shaky feet. He stayed close just in case if Merlin’s body decided to give out again. Merlin wanted to retort that he wasn’t fragile, but it gave a warm feeling inside to be so looked after and cared for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments please!!
> 
> and now you guys have to wait 3 days before I update again
> 
> I have schoolwork to catch up on and stuff to do jfc
> 
> exams, man, EXAMS
> 
> but 480 Days should keep you entertained hopefully until I catch up on a lot of stuff :C


	2. Kilgharrah Gives Merlin the 'Talk'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin and Lancelot meet Kilgharrah in the clearing to learn more about Dragon-Lords. They also learn more about the mini-dragon and some of the magical theories behind it. 
> 
> The mini-dragon is just excited to see a bigger dragon, really.

The ground rumbled under the weight of the ancient beast, the forest hushed in respect for a relic close to extinction. Two men adjusted their weak eyes to the silver glint on aged, once golden in a time forgotten, scales and weathered wings. Kilgharrah’s golden eyes carefully watched the two men, Magic and Nobility side by side as brothers in spirit.

Merlin’s small dragon inside of him twisted and slithered in knots, clawing at the walls but not deep enough to cause pain. His chest ached, he was too weary to feel the dragon’s enthusiasm, making the same twirling motions in the space it had carved itself into.

Kilgharrah moved his large skull down to the humans’ level and leaned in close to Merlin, golden eyes looking him up and down like a bug under a glass. “I did not expect it to hatch so soon, but you’ve always been an unusual case, young warlock.”

Merlin’s breath suddenly leaves him in a punch, “You _knew_?”

“All Dragon-Lords have a dragon’s soul, it is what makes us kin. However, most of them hatch close to the middle mark of a man’s powers. A rite of passage, if you will. Where a dragon hatches in the body speaks of their master in the highest degree. The dragon will be their constant companion through their aging years, keeping them warm in the cold with their body heat, lending a helping hand when their master’s tongue too dumb to speak incantations. The dragon and their master is the one and same, cruel men in the past have tried to carve out the dragon out seemingly inches below the skin. Only to find flesh and bones, and no evidence of such a creature living in it at all.” Kilgharrah explained with a deep rumble, words vibrating with power, weaving through every blade of grass and breathe of the world with all of the solemnity of a fact.

Merlin rubbed his chest, “Where is it, then?” his own dragon had stilled and coiled into a circle, snout tucked into it’s own folds, and had been lulled to sleep by his brother’s words.

“In your magic. It’s a dragon’s soul, and I suspect it’s wrapped around your magical core and it is meant to be as so. There had been powerful Dragon-Lords in the past who had dragons hatch on earlier than usual as an automatic safety mechanism built in for such special cases. Due to the man’s higher amount of magic, his dragon was always wrapped around his soul at all times as a loyal protector and guardian.”

“Protector? From what?” Merlin asked, his harsh feelings toward it had subsided as he realized that it came from his Dragon-Lord heritage, but the sickening feeling of _violation_ still gave him a cold and slimy feeling that sludged down his spine.

“You know that not all magic is used for the betterment of others, and powerful Dragon-Lords had the higher risk of being enchanted by powerful magic users due to their slight animalistic origins that coursed through their blood. They could be coerced into evilness much like the same an enchantress could do to a dumb brute like a bear, wolves, wyverns, and many magical creatures. However, the dragon entwined around the soul would recognize such foul magic and protect their master on a spiritual level, which is extremely difficult for anyone to do on their own.”

Merlin shuddered, suddenly grateful for his little dragon within him. He had to hide the fact he was Dragon-Lord even more vehemently than ever now, he didn’t want to imagine what Morgana & Morgause would do if they found out.

“How do you think King Uther had tricked Dragon-Lords into summoning their Dragons to slaughter? He forced a powerful Priestess to the brink of starvation and beatings before she finally relented in cursing their souls so much that their spiritual protectors had to sever all ties with their masters. Imagine a soul becoming so polluted to the point that their dragon selves had to essentially split themselves into two pieces to escape, the unnatural divide between human and beast.” Kilgharrah pulled back and turned his eyes to the twinkling stars above, two twin streams of steam puffed from his nose in silent anger.

“What happened to the dragon selves?” Lancelot softly asked, speaking for the first time in the discussion, curiosity winning over fear.

“There must be a balance in the world, what a man loses, another man gains.” Kilgharrah looked back down at Merlin, teeth shimmering in the moonlight. Merlin looked down at his chest, a question that hit him like a lightening bolt.

“How big were they, normally?” Merlin asked absently, a thousand and one thoughts whizzing through his mind, worries spilling over, fears screaming, acceptance swallowing everything whole, and so it goes.

“Normally, they didn’t exceed the span of a human hand. For more powerful Dragon-Lords, there was talk of dragons that slept snugly in leg bones, hips, thighs, and one memorable man who had a one coiled around his neck. He had bit of trouble speaking sometimes, if it grew too excited.”

“So, if…..,” Merlin breathed in and out, eyes clenched tightly as his rubbing increased in force, “I am a powerful Dragon-Lord, then how big will mine get?”

Kilgharrah peered at him critically, “I would expect it will eventually make it’s home in your entire rib cage. Merlin, can you describe it to me?”

“What?”

“Is it long and skinny, or is fat and stout? Large wings or small wings?” Kilgharrah huffed out another plume of smoke.

“Long and skinny for sure, and definitely some large wings but it can fold completely flat against the body. Why?”

“Good, since the dragon isn’t physical, it won’t completely disrupt any of your organs and body parts. However, it can prove to be useful if an arrow pierces your body in the area, the dragon can simply take the hit instead, and don’t worry, it’ll be able to take it.” Kilgharrah nodded, and then rumbled in laughter.

“I almost forgot, young warlock! You must name it, your dragon self is an indisputable part of you and you’ll need to look very deep inside to name yourself. It’ll come to you.” Kilgharrah explained, shuffling in place, and Merlin could recognize the five minute warning of his soul-brother leaving for what it was.

Merlin’s eyes glew gold as his breath slowed to a stop, both palms lifted to rest peacefully on top of where the dragon slept. Suddenly, he could see the dragon in his mind’s eye, his sight temporarily lost and the world faded away as he took in his companion. It was indeed long and slender, at first he thought it was red as a dying sunset, but before he realized it was still caked from it’s recent birth. He nudged some cleaning magic toward it in an experiment, and the blood and flesh stuck in it’s teeth and claws from the struggle was wiped away. The dragon’s scale was dark as midnight, but he could tell it would shimmer of different colors in varying lights. It had whiskers on either side of it’s snout, giving it a wise air, and one of the horns was chipped. The dragon blearily woke up, allowing Merlin to see the same eternal gold eyes before it fell back asleep.

“Ambrosius.” Merlin whispered hoarsely, Kilgharrah echoed approval before he took off with a beat of his wings.

_How fitting, young warlock, the name means ‘Divine’ in the language of the northern men, and consider it as another of your names, among Emrys for example. I also approve of your friend, Nobility, he shall be a loyal friend to come._

Merlin scowled as Kilgharrah laughed in his mind, watching the dragon’s silhouette fade into the inky darkness of the sky until his eyes could no longer distinguish him. He was startled out of his musings when a hand landed on his shoulder. Lancelot was for the most part silent in the conversation, but he was definitely glad that he was there. At least the knowledge of someone watching Merlin made sure he didn’t do anything particularly scary, and made him bite his tongue.

“He approved of you, probably because you didn’t chatter his ear off. Also, your name is Nobility for some reason.” Merlin said as he leaned into the firm hand, his fatigue now catching up to him due to realizing he was not in mortal danger.

“Did you know that Gwaine’s called Strength, and Arthur is called Courage? I wonder what the other knights are called.” Merlin said drowsily, eyes suddenly becoming harder to open. Lancelot’s hand moved to hold him around his shoulder, almost forcing him to lean his entire weight onto the knight.

“Let’s go home, Merlin.” Lancelot said simply, face softened with fondness and voice laced with warmth that reminded Merlin of a hot drink of cider on a cold winter night with the yule’s winds howling outside.

“Sure, wha’ver you say, Lancey.” he drawled as he was heaved onto his horse, absently leaning forward into it’s soft mane for a pillow. “Your name is Nobility, I don’t want to say I told you so, but I told you so. When those prattish knights pick on you, just think that you’re literally the representation of nobleness, not them, _you_. See how’d they like that! I really don’t know what I’d do without you, probably go mad one day. I could do it, you know! Go mad. I could kill Arthur so easy, probably I’ll sneeze and poof! Gone. But I won’t do that, cause Arthur maybe a huge prat, but…...he’s _Arthur_.”

Lancelot’s horse trotted up next to him, and his friend reached over and stroked his black curls. “I know we’re mates, Merlin, but I kindly need to ask you to shut up and go to sleep. I have training tomorrow, and Arthur said we’re doing the maces, and you know how he gets when he doesn’t get his sausages because _someone_ didn’t wake up early.” Lancelot teased with a fake menacing tone.

“Of course, _sire_.” Merlin grinned and fell asleep easily since he no longer fought to stay conscious. Trusting Lancelot so completely that he would take Merlin back to Camelot and even drag his ass up the stairs to his room without losing him a single wink.


	3. Puberty (Dragon-Lord Style!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Puberty years was a nightmare for both Merlin and his mother, but waking up about a month later as a dragon was exactly why a magical growth phrase was _highly_ not recommended for the mental health of everyone.

He opened his eyes, and wondered if the walls of his bedroom always was that particular shade of green. Did he grow a few inches overnight, since his bed was too small and the posts dug into his skin weirdly. It was only until that he hissed instead of the sleepy groan he had expected, and having a black scaled body did he finally understand what had happened.

Merlin hissed and gave awkward squeals in fright as his torso was too long, his arms and legs in the wrong place. Oh gods, did he have a _snout_? He stumbled around the room in his brief terror, knocking over his bed and tables all over the place, not caring about the loud racket he was probably causing.

Wings were just terrifying in and out of itself, because hello, _TWO EXTRA LIMBS_!!! Merlin’s mind was in a constant state of exclamation marks and curses at the world for whatever deity thought it was great to transform four-limbed men into beasts with _six limbs_. Gaius finally entered his foggy mind, and he was sure he almost twisted his spine out of alignment in his convoluted haste to get into the physician's chambers outside.

“Merlin! Your porridge is ready.” Gaius yelled, not yet noticing the dragon behind him, body pushed together in a hilly pattern due to his careful steps down the stairs. He gave a loud whine toward his mentor, _Gaius! Help me!!! I can’t go through that Horrifying Yuletide Incident again! I swore off of shapeshifting for a reason!_

“Gods, what in the world is that sound?” Gaius shuffled around in his bed-robe, and gave a strange mix between a strangled-gasp and an abrupt scream. He stumbled to the wooden floor with a resounding smack, and stilled in fear at the beast leaning over him.

 _It’s me! Merlin!_ he hissed and gave a hacking cough, just his luck, dragon vocal chords were completely different too.

“Did you eat my w-ward?” Gaius bravely spoke, and Merlin could see with his stronger sight that the old man’s hands were trembling ever so slightly, gods, he could _hear_ his bones shaking.

 _No! I AM your ward._ Merlin shook his head vehemently, hoping that Gaius would figure it out, since dragons didn’t have opposable thumbs either. And he was sure that burning letters into the wall was totally dangerous and ill-advised for numerous reasons.

Gaius narrowed his eyes, realization finally dawning him as his tremors stopped and his heartbeats slowed back to normal. He stood back up quickly, and seemed to examine Merlin more closely at his scales and features.

“Merlin? Is that you?” Gaius asked disbelievingly, now noticing the shreds of clothing hanging loosely on spikes, claws, and one iconic neckerchief stuck on a chipped horn.

 _YES! I always had faith in you that you would figure it out, Gaius._ he gave a giggle, ignoring the small fact that dragons _could_ giggle, as he patted Gaius on the head with the underside of his long jaw.

Gaius gave a long suffering sigh, “Only you, Merlin, could you give me such a headache.” His mentor rubbed him between his eyes, and Merlin leaned into the touch and hummed. Suddenly his stomach rumbled, right, it was time to break his fast. He twisted around Gaius, ignoring the crashes of chairs being knocked over, to smell the porridge Gaius had set out for him. He gave a happy hiss as he tried to eat it, but his snout was too long and the porridge too sloopy. Merlin turned his jaw on its side, and tried to slurp it up that way but the food had spilled even further on the table. Merlin growled as he pulled back to _**glare**_ at the porridge.

Suddenly the porridge burst into flames, and Merlin gave a surprised squawk, and tried to blow it out in horror. Sadly, the porridge couldn’t be saved and it was now a black crater of unidentifiable slop. He keened in mourning and his body went completely lax, Merlin rested his head on the table as he stared at his former breakfast.

_How do I turn back? What caused this? How will I even keep this from Arthur, he may be oblivious as a brick but he’ll notice that his manservant has been replaced by a dragon. Surely?_

Merlin looked back at his black scales, some of it shimmering dark purples, blues, and greens in the lazy early morning light of the sun. Actually, these scales were rather familiar now that he thought about it. He stared at his tail and with great mental concentration, until it moved the end of it to sweep over his horns. His suspicions were confirmed, one of them was chipped as if it had been broken off in some great fall.

_I’ve been turned into Ambrosius, but why? I didn’t even bloody know I could turn into him! I need to sneak out to talk to Kilgharrah, but how? A DRAGON isn’t totally inconspicuous at all, and I think my control over my wild magic got loosened somehow. Just great, perfect, exactly what I needed, universe!_

“Merlin, you aren’t a dragon that I’ve seen in around these parts. I think you come from a different variation. Hm, I’ll check my books after I’ve told the staff that you’ve come down with a fever and no one must visit you. You’re extremely contagious and must need rest.” Gaius said as he shuffled to the door, but pauses, “Stay here, Merlin. I mean it.” and closes the door behind him.

_As if I’m going anywhere, and it’s not like anybody’s dumb enough to come visit a highly contagious patient. In fact, I’m going to use this time to catch up on my sleep, this is going to be my bloody day off that I’ve been asking for since forever._

Merlin carefully pushed the tables and chairs to the walls of the chambers, and made sure that not a single vial was spilled.

He coiled into a loose circle and rested his head on the toppermost layer of his body, and summoned pillows and blankets from his room to cover up his icy cold scales. He was sure this is what Avalon felt like, oh gods, like what a _day off_ felt like, even better.

+++

As always, he should’ve accounted for Arthur Pendragon throwing a hammer into his plans. Then he wouldn’t be up here, stuck up a tower, with knights shooting arrows and trying to swing their swords at him. It was actually kinda hilarious if not for the fact he could see the king in full battle regalia stomping out into the courtyard. Without thinking, he hissed and **_roared_** at the man, losing his wit for a second. Wow okay, he was pretty sure that wasn’t him, and was he ordering the knights to light their arrows on fire? This was very bad, _very_ bad, and he had no idea where his heart was in this body! He had no other option but to brace his shield for the flaming arrows zooming up to meet him.

_Earlier….._

“Merlin? I’ve discovered what dragon you are, and a bit of something else too.” Gaius said as he pushed himself off his chair, and Merlin tried to tune out the very audible cracks of his bones. He was still in his small tent of heat, head only peeking through a hole in the mound of blankets and pillows.

“You most closely resemble the dragons from the East, very far east of the world. Your unusually long torso, and your whiskers were the ones that tipped me off the most. It notes here that black animals are the absolute of the species, which is why they are most commonly used in rituals. The symbolism of black is very interesting in their eastern culture, rather different than the perception that black dragons as incarnates of evil here. It does still have an association with darkness, but it’s also marks power and authority, life and death, rebirth, the beginning and the end, the setting of the sun. It also has strong connections to the marks of humility and respectability. The black dragon also represents Yin, while the other is a yellow dragon, Yang.”

_You are like one side of a coin…._

Merlin gave a small snuffle, he had gave up trying to speak a while ago when all he could manage was coughs and guttural growls that made him sound like a strangled cat. Gaius patted him some more before he went to blow out the candle to settle in for the night. Merlin knew that the symbolism was rather helpful in knowing more about himself, but Gaius was unable to find anything about Dragon-Lords turning into _actual_ dragons.

_Night, Gaius, I hope I can still summon Kilgharrah somehow or at least talk to him in mind-speak._

He pulled the blanket over him, so he was completely in the dark, and it felt rather safe and warm actually. He got himself comfortable by moving a limb here, folding a wing there, until he was satisfied that none of bodyparts would go numb during his mediating.

_Kilgharrah?_

Merlin gave a frustrated huff when he only received a distant grumble, he was too far out of range and when he was this far he usually came back in two or three days. He couldn’t stay here cooped up! Merlin could feel the constant burning desire to fly in the recesses of his mind. However, Merlin couldn’t completely chalk it up to belonging to Ambrosius, since he remembered his own euphoric experience of riding Kilgharrah.

Merlin peeked out from beneath his blanket and scrutinized the window that led to outside. It was almost too small for him to squeeze through, _almost_. Besides, it was night-time and no one would be up. He moved his head out a little further to move his whiskered nose to glimmer underneath the silver moonlight falling in. Suddenly, his ears twitched and he could hear the thump thump of steps going up to Gaius’ chambers. He whirled around as he recognized the footfalls of **Arthur** , who had made numerous trips over the day to check-in but had Gaius to shoo him away before he got anywhere near the door to investigate.

In his agitation and panic to whether stay silent or wake up Gaius, the blankets fell away around him, revealing more of his draconian self. He made the decision to stay silent after a few quick moments of agonizing over it, and stayed still in the dark gloom. The footsteps stopped in front of the door, the air in the chambers suddenly felt stuffy and thick enough to choke on. Merlin felt his eyes sting as his throat became drier by the minute, not here, not _now_.

_COUGH, HACK, COUGH COUGH_

“Gaius? Are you alright in there?” Arthur asked quietly, and Merlin could hear the slight tremble of the door knob being turned. Arthur was going to come in and see, so now was the perfect time to wake up Gaius! He stumbled in his haste to lean over his mentor, wincing at the loud clatter of chairs being knocked around with his wayward tail. Merlin opened his jaw to lick Gaius, _ew_ , but it was the only way to wake him without making a racket!

“Gaius!” Arthur cried out in shock, the unmistakable _shing_ of his sword being drawn out its scabbard. Merlin turned around startled, and saw Arthur quickly taking in the state of the room; the torn clothes of his manservant laid about, the furniture and blankets all in a chaotic disarray as if there was a struggle. And of course, Merlin with his tongue still out like an idiot about to _lick_ his mentor. He cursed before realizing it came out as menacing growls, _okay not helping myself out here_.

“Get away from him, foul beast! You prey on the sick and fraile, like Merlin and Gaius, but why don’t you pick on someone who can actually fight you!” Arthur challenged, with a small tremor in his voice as he said Merlin but steeled himself for the imminent combat.

Merlin could see Gaius waking up due the shouts, but he didn’t want his mentor try to explain why he was sheltering a magical beast that was _about to eat him_ without ending up on the chopping block. He had to escape, but how?

Merlin quickly whirled his large head around the room before landing on the window he had contemplated escaping through earlier. He gave another growl to get Arthur to back away, unwinding himself from his earlier coils of laziness. It suddenly dawned on Arthur on what Merlin was trying to do as he finally lined his whole body in a straight line, and kept glancing toward the window between them.

He gave a battle cry, fury lighting up his features as he threw himself in Merlin’s path, but Merlin was far more quicker and flexible. Merlin shot to the ceiling, claws digging into the stone roof as he outmaneuvered the angry prince. He gave a small puff of fire towards Arthur, which of course dissipated before reaching him, and Arthur stumbled back to escape the flames. This left the window open and Merlin dived through it, body twisting like a madman before Arthur could regain his sensibilities. He made it out, not completely bruise free, but Arthur was left glaring at the windowsill. _Ha, in your face prat!_

It was only as Arthur was suddenly getting smaller above him that he realized he didn’t think this plan completely through. He panicked with undignified squawks as he never bothered to pay attention to how Kilgharrah used his wings, and now Merlin was going to splat onto the courtyard below. Merlin could make out Arthur’s smug grin above him as he connected the dots that the beast was young and inexperienced, and probably the prat was imagining having his head mounted on his wall. Well, he never followed Arthur’s expectations, and he wasn’t going to start now!

He flashed a toothy grin as he finally figured out the mechanics of his wings, body slithering in the air much like a snake did in the grass. Arthur gaped before he scowled at him as Merlin gave a triumphant howl.

_IN YOUR FACE, PRAT!_

He was considering to land somewhere in the forest before his wings suddenly gave out on him. He adjusted his rapid descent to land on top of one of the tallest guard towers, the patrolling knights gave out shouts of fright as he twisted around the turret above. He didn’t want to bloody fall off, thank you very much. Merlin laughed loudly in his mind as he gave a small growl, and the knights had practically stumbled over themselves to get away. He had to admit that this body came with some great perks, like eternal blackmail.

He stayed there for the rest of the night, bouncing arrows and swords away with his magic. Merlin was a bloody dragon, so it was self-defeating to hide his magic really. It was sunrise when the whole of Camelot was awake that the King finally came out and the peasants were all safe hidden away in the bowels of the castle. Merlin had heard the shouts of warning that the knights gave as they ushered families to safety earlier.

And that’s how he landed himself in this mess, seeing the cold expressions from his friends as they aimed crossbows at him hurt the most out of the whole incident so far. Looks like Merlin was the monster of the week today, since it was only a matter of time after all. Stuck on top of a tower, blatantly using his magic to bounce all weapons away, and the King all too happy to shoot him down and probably walk on his skinned pelt as a scare tactic.

Merlin felt a bubble of absolute fury crawling his throat as the King patted Gwaine on the back with a _smile_ because his arrow managed to nick him past his defenses. Lots of things suddenly shifted in that moment, the bone-rattling roar that shook the air with _wrath_ , the strange feeling of his conscious being forced into a tight ball and forced deep into a void, and another that took his place at the forefront.


	4. Peace Be With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...Man is not meant to hold the power of the gods, even the body understands this on a primitive level. The reason why healing powers are so difficult to learn is because the healer has to **force** the body to fix itself. It’s fundamentally unnatural, a stain upon the world.

_Merlin watched the King stare at the world outside through the glass window, feeling pity and sorrow for the broken man. Merlin was reassigned to be the man’s servant for the day because Gwen and Elyan were visiting their own father’s grave. Ambrosius was threaded round his left rib bones, pressing his body heat as close to the skin as possible as comfort to his master. Merlin kept his head down as he finished making the King’s bed, not daring to give his usual rubbish in the thick air of mourning._

_He walked silently up to the man, and folded his knees beneath him and clasped his hands submissively in his lap, his head bowed. He didn’t understand why he felt he had to do so, but he felt it in his gut that the King needed it._

_“I wish…..” the King’s voice rattled, “I wish Ygraine was still alive.”_

_Merlin remained still as a statue, he was not a person here, he was merely an object that could only listen much like a table or vase that did the same._

_“The Old Religion took her too early, far too early. I realize now why the Old Religion took her away from me.” the King then looked at Merlin from the corner of his clouded eyes, “Do you want me to tell you, boy? If you whisper a word of this to anyone, you will realize quite quickly that are fates worse than death.”_

_Ambrosius stirred at the threat, no longer in the near constant state of dormancy. He gave a silent rumble in reply, but the King could not hear him. Merlin nodded minutely in acknowledgment of the promise. Indifferent, King Uther looked back at the grey clouds drifting lazily in the early autumn sky._

_“It was a mercy, the Old Religion’s only act of kindness before boring me an unnatural son, and cursing me with another unnatural illegitimate daughter. I’ve always had the seed of doubt in my heart about magic’s intentions, but now I see everything clearly. Man is not meant to hold the power of the gods, even the body understands this on a primitive level. The reason why healing powers are so difficult to learn is because the healer has to **force** the body to fix itself. It’s fundamentally unnatural, a stain upon the world.” the King gave another shuddering breath in, his own body limp with defeat, but Merlin could tell without looking that his eyes were hard as flint._

_“I wish Ygraine was alive, so I could kill her too.”_

_Merlin tried very hard not to gasp in shock, but he was good at playing this game, and he remained stock still and blank as ever. However, Ambrosius didn’t have the same self-control, and was rolling and hitting his walls with righteous fury. The slander against the Old Religion, calling both Arthur and Morgana unnatural, and the wish to kill his own wife was all too much for him to bear._

_“Sometimes, I also wish Arthur was born illegitimately too. Then he wouldn’t be my son, truly, and I wouldn’t have to stare at my mistakes everyday. Then the kingdom wouldn’t be inherited to an unnatural son. On one of my worst nights in my life since her death, I wanted to kill him.”_

_Merlin stiffened, as Ambrosius screeched in fury at the King’s casual beating at his master’s state of mind. The King drew in another breath, as Ambrosius roared for him to take no more._

_“I wouldn’t of course, he’s my heir and Camelot would be thrown into chaos if I died and there was no one to succeed me. An unnatural legitimate heir would rule better than both an unnatural and illegitimate one. Magic is a cruel force, it takes what it wants and gives something far worse in return.” the King paused, “Never learn magic, boy, it’ll destroy you and extinguish whatever was human until it leaves a hollowed out husk of a brutish creature that takes pleasure in killing your loved ones.”_

_Merlin’s clasped hands were clenched tightly as he filtered the next words out of his mouth to be the expected subservient blankness, “Yes sir.”_

_Both Ambrosius and Merlin mentally shuddered and felt their body was as if smothered in filth and shame as King Uther rubbed his bowed head in approval. He never felt more like a traitor to his own kind than now._

_But if someday, Uther gained the mental strength to grab a sword and attack Arthur…….Merlin would not feel a single shred of remorse for his actions, only pity for Arthur’s loss of a what was supposed to be his father. Ambrosius rumbled, and Merlin could feel his rib bones vibrating with it. Ambrosius gave a mental nudge of comfort toward his master and promised to keep a close eye on Uther if he ever made any threats toward his master or Arthur, and would deal with it._

+++

It was dark, wherever he was. It took him a few moments that it was because his eyes were closed (like an idiot), and struggled to open them. His eyes fluttered and the first thing he saw was the face of a terrified knight, but it was projected as an image on the walls of a flickering dome around him, and darkness beyond it.

It took a few moments for him to notice the blood dripping from the unknown knight’s mouth, and the unmistakable fade of light in his eyes. Merlin’s senses registered the unforgettable tang of blood that permeated the air, and the harsh guttural sounds the man was making. The image shifted downwards the man’s body, and Merlin’s breath was punched right out of him as he recognized those black claws digging cleaning through the knight’s stomach, so much he could see the spattered cobblestones below. The body finally stilled, and the image moved to gaze at the sun above and Merlin’s very insides rattled with the roar upwards.

Merlin looked away from the dome, now realizing it was the eyesight of Ambrosius, and assessed himself. Merlin was awestruck at what he saw, every single piece of him was covered in shimmering gold, glittering in the faint white light of the dome. The usual servant garb was replaced with robes of the same gold effect, and it had so much fabric that had covered the floor in all directions.

The floor was about the size of the Throne-room, perhaps a little smaller. Merlin tried his best to gather whatever fabric was in his reach to walk unhindered to the wall of the dome. He brushed a hand over a deep claw mark that marred the almost smooth surface. So, this meant that this was where Ambrosius really was?

Merlin had tried his best not to trip as he walked carefully back to the center of the dome, the fabric still shining like it had stars sewn into it. It was far too grand for Merlin to normally wear, but connecting the dots that Ambrosius was here and he mainly resided in the spiritual plane. It wasn’t a far leap of logic that the fact that he was completely covered in gold, even his hair, that he was seeing the actual state of his soul.

Merlin laid back on his back, to watch the dome easily in all directions, and spread his arms and feet lazily since he had nothing better to do other than watch and see. Currently Ambrosius was for the most part keeping up his earlier pacifist strategy of blocking arrows with a shield, but he tore knights apart when they got _too_ close. He could feel it when Ambrosius used a part of Merlin’s magic to fuel his defenses and attacks, a fingernail worth of fabric is torn away into the ether. Strangely, the tear mends itself in seconds.

The soul was wondering if his robe was _growing_ as well from the ends of it, was when he saw Ambrosius about to confront Lancelot, that he sat up immediately. He cursed as his feet kept tangling in the golden fabric that fell around him in waves, and started pounding on the walls of the dome, and startled when a bit of the wall gave.

He heard a pained hiss echo in the dome, and started beating even harder, creating a noticeable bulge outwards of the perfect dome.  
“Ambrosius! You know he’s not a threat! Don’t you dare hurt him!” Merlin shouted, “Come on, Lancelot! You know I have a bloody dragon in my chest, and even Gaius saw that it was me!”

Merlin screamed in fear for his friend as the image pounced on the Knight in the courtyard, and he could detail every bump and stubble on his friend’s terrified but resigned face. It was when he could see the teeth at the edges of the dome, and the crystal-clear drops of spit dribbling down on top of Lancelot’s noble face, that Merlin finally lost it.

“ ** _AMBROSIUS! OCHI PIA, STASI, DRAKON!_** ” Merlin roared in Dragon-Tongue, causing Ambrosius to still in acknowledgement to his master’s commands. Lancelot’s defeated face seemed to change into surprise, and then….searching. Merlin held his breath as Ambrosius seemed to assess Lancelot too, checking to prove his master’s earlier statement of this human being friend, not foe.

Ambrosius closed his jaw and leaned his head closer and closer until their foreheads were almost touching. Merlin could even see Lancelot’s eyes in extraordinary detail, and he could see the reflection of Ambrosius’ slightly glowing reptilian eyes in the other’s. Deciding to take a chance on a prayer, he gathered his magic-fabric and sent them outwards in all directions, trying to break through the dome with audible slam.

The dome only gave into the force, becoming bigger than it once was, but Merlin was carefully searching the image for any evidence of a reaction outside. Suddenly, Ambrosius blinked, and the pupil was no longer a reptilian slit but it was a normal human circular one. Lancelot gasped, and Ambrosius blinked again, eyes back to their otherworldly slit.

“.......Merlin?” Lancelot breathed out, barely a whisper. Merlin grinned as Ambrosius pulled back and took to the air again. Lancelot left dazed on the ground, knights flocking to him to assess injuries and scoffs of disbeliefs that Lancelot was barely hurt.

Suddenly, Merlin felt bone weary and sunk to his knees, his golden eyelashes fluttering on his cheeks. He fell back onto his soft magic-fabric of his robe, and fell asleep with pure exhaustion. The warlock didn’t realize how much energy was required to stay awake in this strange spiritual realm, no wonder Ambrosius slept for hours on end, since he was almost constantly active when he wasn’t.

+++

The first thing he heard was wing-beats, heavy and ominous. The clanging of chainmail, and the whistle of air speeding past them. Merlin was still in the strange place between waking and sleep, so he turned onto his side and smiled as his magic tucked some of it’s fabric under his chin, fond as ever. His eyes shot open when he heard an all too familiar shout of “ ** _FATHER!_** ” from far below, panicked voices getting fainter with each wing-beat.

_Arthur?_

The chainmail clanged again and the smell of unmistakable fear cloyed the air, and the sharp whistle of a sword falling into empty air finally prompted Merlin to look up at the dome. He could only see the shining moon, large and bright, in front of Ambrosius. The last time he was awake, it was noon, but how long ago was that? Merlin shivered as the air suddenly felt chillier, and he knew that their altitude was unnervingly high, they must’ve passed the height of where Kilgharrah normally flew a while ago.

He startled when Ambrosius looked down at the dot of Camelot below, and there was plainly an ash-faced Uther in his inky claws, held firmly around his arms as if so he wouldn’t fall. Ambrosius finally stilled in place, wings making sure they do not plummet.

“You have hurt my master, the Old Religion, and you have confessed to your sins, what say you Uther Pendragon?” Ambrosius growled in a husky voice, underlaid with undeniable clicks and hisses. Both Merlin and Uther startled, neither of them expected Ambrosius to be able to speak.

Uther looked down to the barely distinguishable dot of his kingdom, and saw the whole world stretching in all directions. The moonlight played on his sharp features, reminding Merlin of the statues they had lined throughout the halls.

“I knew the Old Religion would one day seek me for retribution, the balance you people regale so highly.” Uther’s breath shuddered, “I know I’m not long for this world.”

“Why should I not kill you? I could drop you, snap your head off, or even tear you to shreds. Or my master could easily end your life without effort.” Ambrosius snarled, but Merlin didn’t want to stop Ambrosius. Not really. However, if Arthur lost his father to magic, it could harden his heart even further. He pushed this thought toward Ambrosius to consider this.

“Your master, the Triple Goddess, would execute me? Go ahead, I accept this judgement, a price for a price.” Uther said bitterly, dropping his head in defeat, “Tis an honorable death to be slayed in battle."

All was the silent spare for the wingbeats and the raspy breaths from Uther, the King waiting for a noble death. Merlin’s robe was flicking the ends in anticipation, folds deepening and straightening as if hands were brushing over them in anxiety.

“Do you feel remorse, Uther Pendragon?” Ambrosius said with a tone that cut to the bone, brittle and clear.

“Excuse me?” Uther asked as he slowly looked up at the dragon scrutinizing him with piercing golden eyes that gave an unearthly shine in the darkness.

Merlin gasped as he felt something _pushing up_ from deep within himself, it was older than his physical body, the wisdom of dirt, the freedom of ozone, the eternalness of the sea. He absently noticed the golden flecks of his soul slowly being stained with delicate silver.

“Surely that old healer of yours told you about black dragons are the absolute of their species. What they say or do, _**goes**_.” Ambrosius’ husky voice abruptly lost it’s animalistic accent, and was replaced with a smooth otherworldly voice, unable to distinguish between whether it belonged to a man or woman, or perhaps both.

Uther’s eyes widened as the golden eyes common to dragons were replaced with silver imbuing into it, until it was as silver as the moon watching them.

“Yes, yes I do.” the words spilled from Uther unbidden, “I brought so much suffering into this world because I suffered. Ygraine would die under my laws, and my daughter never felt safe in my arms, and my son lives with the guilt of causing his own mother’s death everyday. I-I love my children, both of them, I regret pushing both of them away. I regret raising my son to be filled with hatred in his heart, and Morgana is too much like me. I still remember the day Arthur stopped crying uncontrollably every time there was a public execution, I h-had killed the boy who would kiss and hug me every time I picked him up. Morgana would sometimes stack books on her chair just to spite Arthur’s boasting of growing taller. Now, I regret that we never had Ygraine, Arthur, Morgana, all sit together at the table as a family.” Uther shuddered, tears streaming down his aged face.

“I fear neither of them will mourn me because of my mistakes, my arrogance and deliberate narrow vision of the world.” Uther finally gave in to wracking sobs that shook his entire body, the weight of his sins making him sag in the dragon’s claws.

The strange voice hummed, “You accuse of the Old Religion of who will be judging you now, but you have been judged numerous times over the past three years. In fact, your life was officially saved by the Old Religion. It will not be Old Religion that endorses your death, for you have confessed to a holy man and the Old Religion has accepted your confession of sins and shall bless you a safe passage to your God for His judgement. You are no longer under the Old Religion’s jurisdiction. You are free, Uther Pendragon, _peace be with you_.” the voice proclaimed with the force of a thunderclap, and Uther’s body was limp with pure shock as the dragon finally released him from his claws.

+++

Merlin groaned as he rolled his bed, away from the annoying sunlight peeping through his window from the sunrise. Then it hit him, he was back in human form! He shot up into an upright sitting position as he saw the familiar door of his bed-chambers, he was back in Camelot! The dragon, dome, his robes, Lancelot, and Uther…...Uther!

He stumbled into Gaius’ chambers, half-expecting to see the King himself laid on a cot, with or without a sheet covering him. Merlin stilled as he saw Arthur sitting across from Gaius instead, eating some porridge but both of their heads whirled around to see Merlin.

“Looks like you’re feeling better, aren’t you Merlin?” Arthur snarked, as he drenched another spoonful of honey into his breakfast. Spoiled prat.

“What?” Merlin said a bit dumbly before he understood the reference, “Oh yeah, I was horribly sick but then I just felt better?”

“I should hope so, you were out of it for a few days. The dragon put you under a deep spell like it did with Gaius, and it was about to eat Gaius first because he had more meat on his aged bones than you do! That’s just sad.” Arthur tsked disapprovingly as he nudged a third bowl of porridge toward Merlin, but with a plate of cheese next to it.

“What happened while I was out?” Merlin asked the two of them as he nibbled on the slice of cheddar cheese, he didn’t even notice how hungry he was.

“The dragon terrorized Camelot by staying on one of the northern turrets of a guardpost, it bounced off our weapons and was mostly just an annoyance. But then, until Uther joined the fight against it. For some reason, the sight of Uther made the dragon go completely berserk and it changed strategies.” Arthur huffed irritably, it was likely that he had fought his father on taking up the sword again.

“He started circling the courtyard, making sweeps to grab the King, and numerous Knights were lost when they threw themselves in his path. After a few harrowing hours of stalemate between the dragon and the Knights, the dragon finally triumphed. He made a fake shadow of himself, luring the Knights away and making the King vulnerable. The dragon picked up Uther and swiftly flew high into the night, we weren’t sure that we would see the Uther ever again.” Gaius continued, almost pointedly looking at him everytime he said ‘he’ instead of Arthur’s ‘it’.

“Then the strangest thing happened.” Arthur said with a confused frown, but there was touch of gratitude in his eyes, “We saw him falling straight down to us in the courtyard, and I held Gwen into my chest so she wouldn’t see his body slam ugly into the stones as we were expecting. However, there was suddenly a mist that rolled into the courtyard and it…...changed shape. It was Mother, who caught him and slowly put him down on the stones gentle as you could. She looked so beautiful, and she spoke something to Uther, and I saw Father smiling through tears.”

Arthur looked down his porridge, eyes hidden by his blonde locks, “She disappeared when my Knights and I rushed to him. I made them all sworn to secrecy that Father wasn’t crying like a babe and smiling as if the happiest thing in the world had happened to him. He hasn’t spoken a word in the past few days, but dammit I thought we were making progress!” Arthur growled as he slammed his fist onto the table, causing all of the bowls and utensils to jump.

“Does,” Merlin whispered but bit his lip nervously but Arthur’s head shot up to prompt him to continue, “he still look morose?”

Arthur raised an eyebrow, “No, he smiles more and I keep finding drafts of letters addressed to Morgana but they keep being thrown into the waste bin, as if they aren’t good enough.”

Merlin could feel Ambrosius puff out a satisfied burst of smoke from his nostrils, and went back to his slumber. Gaius stared at him over his bowl of finished porridge, his eyebrows communicated a _Talk_ as soon as possible when there was no eyes or ears listening in.

_Why did you do this, Ambrosius?_ Merlin spoke sternly to his dragon, nudging him awake with a poke. 

_Uther was a threat, and I took care of it, master._

Merlin huffed as Ambrosius’ mind became muddled with sleep and could no longer be aroused. He had so many questions about what happened to both of them, but so few answers. It slowly dawned on him that there could be no answers to be found in any of Gaius’ books, since he was a constant question mark to the world since there was never before or any again like him.

_Man is not meant to hold the power of the gods….._

+++

“Peace be with you?” Gaius asked as he leaned back in his seat, eyes filled with awe and Merlin had the feeling that his mentor was hiding most of his thoughts on the story.

“Yeah, so?” Merlin said, and he could see Lancelot was staring at him with a new look in his eyes.

“Ambrosius referred to you as a holy man, I’ve always suspected that you were a High Priest but this only confirms it. If a creature of the Old Religion referred to someone as holy as they did in olden days, they were either High Priest or Priestess as they are referred to in nowadays.” Gaius explained with his usual lecturer voice.

Merlin frowned, “I don’t think it was Ambrosius speaking anymore. I think it was me, but not me.”

“I think I know what you’re trying to say, Merlin.” Lancelot rested his head on his palm as he contemplated, “I believe that you became the mouthpiece of the Old Religion, since combined with the fact that you are a High Priest, a creature of the Old Religion, and the pureness of wilderness that is Ambrosius. The Triple Goddess spoke through you, right?”

Merlin blinked, “Yeah, that sounds right. And I’m just glad that I didn’t burst into flames or anything, I’m pretty sure the Triple Goddess possessing me isn’t normal or even possible.”

“Right on the nose,” Gaius chuckled, “Only High Priests or Priestesses who practice and mediate for decades to prepare their magic are able to, so that’s why when an important person is to be judged in the sacred courts, only the elder Priest or Priestess becomes the mouthpiece of the Triple Goddess. In fact, The Disir are three former High Priestesses who were instated to become the official mouthpieces when the practice fell out of fashion.”

“I’m _twenty-two_ winters old!” Merlin squeaked, he had barely finished two decades of existing for gods’ sakes!

“You’re also Emrys, I’m sure there’s bound to be a few rule bendings around you, Merlin.” Lancelot shot back, a smile at the edge of his features.

“Besides, wouldn’t Uther connect the dots that since he confessed to me and then the Old Religion referred to me as a holy man? I wouldn’t be surprised if my head ends up on the chopping block one of these days.” Merlin sighed, his constant threat of death everyday just seemed to loom even more with each close call.

“I find that unlikely, remember when you visited him to give him his sleep elixir today? He didn’t react at all, and you know I was there with my own two eyes.” Gaius reassured his ward with sound logic. The three of them stayed there in contemplating silence as they wondered what effects would be brought about by this. Merlin later would be intrigued by the idea of transforming his body into something else, despite his earlier reservations, it could easily be useful now that he thought about it.

Little did they know that months later, the Old Religion fulfilled her promise that Uther’s death would not be caused directly by her. Instead, he died by Morgana’s own magic (for some reason all of her dark spells from the Old Religion had fizzled out and she had draw from her own supply) and he had died mercifully in his son’s arms. He got his wish, both his son and daughter had cried and mourned his passing. Merlin’s magic was only of the Old Religion therefore it could not interfere, and had failed in reversing the amulet’s intent to sap Uther’s remaining strength, and ignored that Uther’s death must be. Uther passed away in the night, and Dragoon had apologized to Arthur that he was simply too far gone to be reached. Arthur understood, and mercifully banished the old man out of his kingdom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay I sorta lied, I wrote all of this just to finish off the 4th chapter but I somehow got sucked into combining the planned three chapters into one MEGA chapter
> 
> but I'm still implementing the one week hiatus, a new chapter will be posted on Nov 19th if you guys didn't get the memo in the updated series description of MSOW
> 
> the next part in the series is gonna be called 'A Thousand Skins'
> 
> yeah!!! Merlin keeps thinking about shape-shifting and decides to try it out!!!
> 
> However, the wisdom of learning from his mistakes crops up (he should've learned from the Horrifying Yuletide Incident really, which gets explained in the next part)
> 
> what did you think guys?? this is currently unedited so oops
> 
> I paralleled Uther's scenes with one that of confession, like in Church, but with more teeth and the threat of splatting on the stones below
> 
> This starts the referencing to souls, Merlin's role in the Old Religion, and Ambrosius having a personality aside from being cute and cuddly (which he is!)
> 
> kudos and comments would be lovely!


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